Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Dear Cleaning Team

To the people cleaning my house today:

First, I know I'm paying your company a hefty sum for cleaning my house, but I just want to say I'm really grateful that you are here helping me keep my house clean. If it wasn't for you, I would definitely not bother to move the clutter that seems to gather on its own. Thanks for pushing me to do just that.

A note on the big bundle of sheets and blankets and quilt that is balled up in the hallway: Last night my son came into my husband's and my room complaining of an upset stomach. Because my husband is traveling and I love the excuse to cuddle with my always-growing kids, I invited him into our bed. That turned out to be a pretty stupid move, because he threw up on everything within a five feet radius just ten minutes later. Nothing was left unscathed. The sheets, the pillows, the blankets, the wall, the quilt, the floor, the lamp, the nightstand. It was a puke fest of the nastiest kind.

I know you all are too young to be parents, but let me assure you that even if you love your kids as much as I do and are empathetic and sympathetic to their ailments and heart aches, their vomit still makes you retch a little.

And, remember that note about my husband traveling? Right. So I did all the clean up. If I left anything, please forgive me. And wash your hands as many times as I did so we stop the germs with Ben. Because, you know, I've got two other kids and if Ben is just the first in our family of five to get this...we're doomed. Do you know what the puke bug does to families? Nothing good. Nothing good at all.

The other thing about the timing is that we'll now be in the house when you're here, which I really don't prefer. We'll be in one part of the house while you're cleaning another. And when I say "we" I also mean my young dog who will likely bark and be high-energy the whole time...while at the same time my son Ben will need to rest and be low-energy.

And then there's me--I'm utterly exhausted, having hardly slept because after the clean up I had no other option but to sleep in a bedroom that still smelled like vomit. I've left coffee beans on my night stand to try and absorb the smell a bit, and I will open the windows in the afternoon if the weather warms up like it did yesterday. If I'm still in my pajamas after dropping off my other two kids at school and taking my dog to the dog park so Ben can sit in the car while Sunny tires herself out...please don't judge me. Throw me a sympathetic look and I'll leave a bigger tip.

Because I'm really grateful you're here.


  1. Awww, your poor son. And poor you! I think I'd open the bedroom window even if it DOESN'T warm up....better to have a cold bedroom than a smelly one, in my opinion. I hope that you get through this okay and no one else gets sick! :-) ~JudyK

  2. Oh I remember those days of everyone sick and all in the middle of the night. Exhausting. I did smile at your letter - all in empathy!

  3. I think this is a brilliant letter, especially the part where you say "If it wasn't for you, I would definitely not bother to move the clutter that seems to gather on its own. " I totally get this!

    I can take almost anything, but NEVER vomit. I hope Ben is the only one who gets this thing so you can have a good night's sleep tonight, vomit free.

  4. What a night!!!! I'm so sorry you had to deal with this! And thank heaven for cleaning people- I think I need a company like this so I would have to move the clutter around a bit.

  5. Poor guy! I'm sorry he is sick! It's so nice that you're able to get some help today though. I bet they will appreciate that you've tried to clean up what you could!

  6. This was an entertaining read, but I also felt deeply sympathetic about the vomiting episode. That sounds awful! I hope you feel like you earned your pajama rights without any judgement. Sometimes mamas are like super heroes.